Category: Joke Board
This man was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a
pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy
an unusual
pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (100-legged crawler)
which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided
he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with
me and have a beer?"
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him
again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided
to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's
house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place
and have a drink with me?"
A little voice came out of the box:...........
"I heard you the first time! I'm putting my Fucking shoes on."
A blind man walks into a bar with his guide dog, sits down, and orders a drink. He thought he would maybe tell a before you tell this joke, mister, i should let you know a few things. First of all, I'm blonde, and I am a pro restler. The woman sitting to your right is blonde and she is in karate. The woman sitting to your left is also blonde and she is a pro weight lifter. The bouncer and the bar tender are blonde as well. So, seriously, mister, do u really wanna tell this joke?
The blind man thinks for a moment, and says "nah, not if i have to explain myself five times!"joke so that he could be center of attention in the bar, so he was like "hey, anyone wanna hear a blonde joke?" and the bar immidiately went silent... A woman sitting to his right says "
A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bar tender says "no, there are no bears allowed here" then the bear says "if you don't give me a drink, i'll eat that woman sitting over there (points to a woman sitting over in the corner). The bar tender says "okay, your choice, go right ahead. I'm not stopping you!" so, the bear goesover and eats the woman, comes back to the bar and orders another beer. The bar tender says "i don't serve beer to bears on drugs" and the bear says ", what? i'm not on drugs." and the br tender says "well, that was the barbituate...!
(for those who don't know, barbituate is a type of drug)
hmm. Coment: your first joke wasn't pasted really well, so I did not get it first time. And i say pasted because I saw it on a website and I have that kind of errors too.